Real
by Ichigo1010
Summary: "You want to know why you can't find a scrap of information about me? Try because according to the rest of the world I died seven years ago and the government doesn't acknowledge my existence." R&R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey! This is the redone version of _To Not be Real _named simply _Real_. For everyone who read the original: I hope that you like this! I think its tons better.

To those who are new: welcome and enjoy! ^^

Not Beta'd.

***Note:** This does not mark the beginning of the weekly updates. I just wanted to go ahead and put up the first chapter. Weekly updates will start soon.

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim

**OoOoO**

The air was cold, the ground damp with snow that was quickly falling.

Laying in the streets in one of the many alleys of Tokyo was a girl; her skin pale and tinged slightly blue with the cold. Long eyelashes were dusted with snow, framing eyes that were barley seeing. Tears were frozen on her cheeks, and her body temperature was so low that her breath created no fog at all.

Blood covered the ground around her coming from a deep gash in her right side.

Dressed in nothing but a once white hospital gown now stained brown from dirt and red with blood, she lay there; silent and unnoticed by the world around her.

Somewhere deep down inside, she had known that she would die like this... frozen and starved at the young age of fourteen only to be found when the smell of decaying flesh became too bad. There would be a huge commotion when she was found, the girl mused. And they would probably try to ID her body as well. Only they would never find out who she was, because according to the government she did not exist.

Her body hurt.

Her fingers and toes were numb, but she could still feel the fiery pain of the wound in her side and her limbs _ached_.

"Let me die already," she whispered softly to the sky. "I'm ready, so just end this."

Another tear slipped down her cheek, freezing before it could fall.

She was too cold to even shiver.

"What a mess," she hear a man murmur suddenly.

The girl didn't bother to look and see who was standing over her.

"I know," she croaked, barely heard at all by the mysterious someone.

She was barley maintaining consciousness when she was suddenly scooped up into a strong pair of arms and a wonderfully warm coat was draped over her thin body. Dull hazel eyes just barely made out blond hair and violet eyes.

"Who?" she whispered.

"Narumi Anjou," the man replied simply, running through the streets with her.

"Are you... here to kill me?"

She both heard and felt him chuckle.

"No. Quite the opposite."

Her eyelids began to flutter shut.

"No, no, don't fall asleep. You can't sleep. Tell me something. What's your name?"

She forced her eyes to remain open and she parted her lips to form two words that made Narumi's heart freeze in his chest.

"Mikan Azumi."

She couldn't make her eyes stay open any longer now. She was too cold and too tired.

_'My side doesn't hurt anymore,'_ she mused.

In her peripheral vision she saw a pair of large, dark gates come into view.

"Sorry," she said, voice growing softer. "But I can't stay awake anymore."

"No! No, Mikan! Do not fall asleep! Guards! Get help now!"

"M... S'rry..."

"Stay awake!"

She slipped into oblivion just as dark gates opened.

**OoOoO**

Mikan's entire body felt like it was made of lead as she slowly began to regain consciousness.

_'Where... am I?'_

Her tongue felt thick in her mouth and her entire side was numb.

Mikan tried to curl her fingers, but felt thick bandages restricting her movement. She tried to wiggle her toes. The same thing.

_'What...?'_

She forced her eyes open only to immediately shut them again, harsh white light making her eyes hurt.

"Agh!"

_Beep... Beep... Beep..._

The sound of what Mikan knew to be a heart monitor made its way to her ears then and she began to feel even more confused. Determined to figure out where she was, she forced her eyes to open and _stay_ open.

Her vision at first was blurry, but it quickly became clear.

The ceiling above her was bare and white. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw equally white walls and piles and piles of machines, all beeping and humming an whirring softly around her. The tile floor was white as well and the sheets that Mikan had just thrown off of herself, having sat up finally, were too. She was dressed in a clean white hospital gown.

_'Too much white. I hate white.'_

White meant pain.

White meant syringes full of _something._

White meant fear, and death and-

_Beep...! Beep...! Beep...!_

"_Agh!_" Mikan cried out in pain, clutching at her hair and breathing deeply.

"Go away...!" she begged, willing the flood of memories that she felt beginning to come to disappear. "I don't want to remember!"

But it wouldn't stop. As more and more of her senses reawakened Mikan was reminded more and more of _that place._

The smell of medicine.

The beeping of machines.

The air of death.

The scent of old blood.

The color _white_. Horrible, horrible _white_.

"I _hate_ white!"

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

Mikan gasped; panicking, frightened.

And then she caught sight of the needle in her arm, attached to an IV drip.

She ripped it out and then tore off everything else connected her; various wires that led to who knows where and-

_Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep-!_

Mikan tore off the one connected to her chest and the machine that monitored her heart.

She looked back to her arm and her eyes widened and her pupils dilated when they saw the deep red liquid beading where the needle had been torn out due to the rough treatment.

Blood.

A stabbing, ripping pain shot through Mikan's head at the sight and she screamed, curling up into a ball and clutching her head as pictures - _memories_ began flashing before her eyes at a rapid speed. Everything that she didn't want to remember. Everything that had ended up in her being wounded and almost dead.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Mikan noticed the sound of footsteps and a door being thrown open.

_[A normally white room._

_The smell of medicine._

_Broken glass._

_White coats._

_Bright lights._

_"__Monster."_

_Dying people._

_Screams of terror._

_Blood. _

_BLOOD. _

_Everywhere: covering the walls and the floors._

_Seeing her reflection on a shard of glass. _

_She stood in the center of all of the carnage, in the middle of the blood and glass and the dying and dead people._

_This was her doing.]_

"N-no..." she whispered. Her voice was broken.

["_This is all your fault."_

_More screams._

_"__Murderer!"]_

"No!" she shrieked.

Tears poured down her cheeks.

_["__Murderer!"]_

Mikan squeezed her eyes shut and wailed as more and more memories assaulted her mind and they got more and more and _more violent_.

"Stop it, please! I didn't do it! I didn't mean to do it! I'm sorry! I'm not a murderer! It was an accident, I d-didn't mean to do i-it!"

Her breath hitched when she felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around her then and pull her into a hug. Soft hair brushed against her face and mixed with her own, black and silky and wild.

The person shouted for everyone to leave the room.

_'There were people in here?'_

"You're going to be okay," a deep voice whispered reassuringly and even thought the memories didn't stop and didn't get any better, she suddenly felt more relaxed.

A larger, stronger pair of hands pried Mikan's own from her hair, murmuring kind words all the while and holding her. Slowly, Mikan's sobs began to subside as well and the memories. Tears still flowed down her cheeks, but not as violently as before.

After what seemed like hours (and maybe it was) Mikan had fallen silent and all that was left of her tears were salty tracks down her face.

She tilted her head back slightly to get a look at the person holding her and hazel met a bloody crimson.

And yet they didn't make the memories come again.

_'How odd,'_ she mused.

The crimson eyes blinked, studying her as Mikan studied him. A shaky hand reached out and cupped the boys cheek.

"You..." she began in a voice horse from crying.

"Me?" he murmured in question.

But she never got to finish what she wanted to say, because she fell asleep.

"Tch... Silly girl."

**OoOoO**

Natsume stared down at the teenager lying in his arms. She had just fallen asleep and she looked like a mess with salty lines covering her cheeks and puffy red eyes. Long auburn hair that he was sure looked beautiful normally was a tangled mess from her grabbing at it.

He stroked her cheeks softly.

"What happened to you?" he wondered.

Apparently she was his own age, but right then, curled up against him and asleep she looked younger and fragile and defenseless.

Natsume found that he wanted to protect her.

He had no idea why.

"I don't even know her name," he muttered, gently uncurling her fingers where they were tangled into his shirt and climbing off the hospital bed. He put her into a more comfortable position and drew the covers over her.

_["I'm not a murderer!"]_

Natsume paused.

Those were the words that had caused him to stop watching curiously from his place outside the door and go in and help her.

Sighing he stepped back and dropped into one of the chairs beside her bed.

"What am I doing?" He wondered tiredly. Natsume promptly smacked himself in the forehead and leaned back in the chair.

_It's because she's just like you,_ a knowing voice in his head whispered. _Broken._

"Shut up," he muttered.

There was a light tapping sound on the door and Natsume sighed.

"If your done playing nurse," and eerie voice sneered, "Get up and come with me. I have a mission for you."

The fire caster stood up and walked to the door after giving one last look to the girl on the bed.

"I'm coming, Persona. I'm coming."

**OoOoO**

"So who is she?" the man asked, watching with calm blue eyes from his seat behind his desk.

Narumi looked down at the floor and then back up again.

"Principal Yukihara, I..." he began and then bit his lip. "She's your niece. She's Mikan Azumi: Yuka and Izumi's daughter."

The mysterious principal of the High School Division shot the teacher a glare.

"That's impossible. She's dead. For seven years, Mikan Azumi has been _dead._ _I saw her die_. Do not make up lies."

Narumi shook his head and looked down before tossing the file he'd been holding in his hands onto the principals desk.

"I didn't believe it at first either. But she looks just like Yuka. And well, here's the DNA test. Apparently Mikan-chan wasn't as dead as everyone had believed she was."

**OoOoO**

**A/N:** Dun dun dun~! Haha so, what did you guys think? :)

Leave me a review! And that you gotta do it click one little button! ;)

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	2. Chapter 2

*clears throat* Uh... Hey everyone! It's been... wow. It's been way too long. Sorry. I blame education ;)

Anyway, here's the next chapter!

**OoOoOoO**

**Chapter 2**

The nurse walked into the hospital room to check on their newest patient, stepping lightly and opening the door slowly as to not scare the girl. She had been there when she'd had her little breakdown three days before. When she saw only haphazardly thrown white sheets lying across the hospital bed with no girl in them though, she quickly set down the tray of food she had brought with her and rushed further into the room to look around only to immediately spot her.

She stood by the large window in the room, open and letting in a small breeze from the outside that made the nurse shiver. The girl – Mikan according to the charts – looked ethereal standing there. Her white hospital dress was fluttering softly in the wind and her hair, which had been pulled back into a loose braid at one point, had come free from its bindings and was now rippling in long, soft waves around her face and shoulders. Long dark lashes brushed pink tinted cheeks, her eyes having slid shut a moment ago, and her hands rested lightly on the windowsill. The soft morning light made her pale skin glow. Pink lips curved into an almost smile.

She didn't look like she should exist in this world.

The nurse found herself holding her breath and released it slowly.

It took her a moment to find her voice, and when she did it came out stuttering and unsteady.

"U-umm… excuse me Mikan-san," she called tentatively. "I am here to do your check-ups. If you would please step away from the window and come here to the bed then I…"

She trailed off when Mikan turned to look at her directly in the eyes.

"Oh…"

Her eyes were beautiful: a clear hazel with a thin but bright ring of orange-brown surrounding the pupil and flaring out like a miniature sun, only to melt into a canvas of green flecked with brown.

They were also flat and dead and in pain and full of so, so much emotion that-

A little girl like this one shouldn't have eyes so old.

Once more the nurse found her breath stolen, and she stumbled back slightly, tears stinging in her plain brown eyes.

It was painful.

Such eyes were painful to see.

_'Stop looking at me,'_ the nurse thought softly.

She didn't want to see those horrible _beautiful_ eyes anymore. She didn't want to see that blank expression. She didn't want to see someone who was _alive_ looking so _dead_.

"I-I-I-"

She tried to find words but she simply could not.

Her clothed back met the wall and the nurse flinched having not realized that she was still backing up.

She shook her head, and shaking hands found the doors' handle. She threw it open and fled.

**OoOoO**

Mikan watched her retreating back with a blank face. She looked down at her hands, which were gripping the windowsill painfully, fingertips and knuckles white from the force.

"They always run," she said in a low voice.

She considered the fact for a moment and decided that it was okay.

The ones who got away were the ones who were safe in the end after all, because for some reason… those who associated with her either ended up gravely injured or dead if not both.

Mikan didn't want that any longer.

**OoOoO**

Natsume observed her from a small but leafy tree a ways from her hospital room window.

He'd been doing so for the past three days whenever he had time…

And no. He was most certainly _not_ a stalker. He was an _observer_. There was a difference after all.

Natsume grimaced.

Okay. Perhaps he was acting a little bit stalkerish – but it was for a good cause, he justified in his mind. He was curious about her.

"Mikan," he tested the name on his lips and decided that he liked it.

Her last name hadn't been listed.

She stared out the window looking somewhat creepy yet… very beautiful.

Crimson eyes narrowed as yet another nurse walked in, stared, and tried to talk to the young woman in the hospital gown. And then Mikan turned and after a moment the nurse began to back away and finally flee.

That was the fourth one that had done so if he remembered correctly and Natsume wondered what it was that those women saw in her that made them have such an extreme reaction.

He snorted.

_'They're probably just being wimps.'_

He looked down at the bark of the branch he was sitting on.

_'Or maybe…'_

Natsume made a move to jump off of the branch and go to Mikan but was stopped by a scratchy yet smooth voice that made him want to shiver.

"Persona," he hissed, not bothering to look back.

"Time to go," his teacher announced, voice cold. "And stop coming by this girls room. She means nothing."

"Hn."

Natsume disagreed very, very much.

Persona must have seen his thoughts on his face because he clicked his tongue and tutted softly as soon has the thought formed.

"Foolish boy," he mocked. "You know nothing… forget the girl or else something surely horrible will happen, understand?"

Natsume glared at him and the words that made up his usual threat, wishing that he would just die right then and there and do him and everyone else a favor.

He didn't.

_'Pity.'_

Persona beckoned for him to follow with a slender finger and with one last glance towards Mikan, he reluctantly followed.

**OoOoO**

**OoOoO**

Narumi's hands shook a little as he stood outside her door.

He hadn't seen Mikan since the day he'd found her - he wasn't allowed - and this was the first time that he would really have the chance to talk to her for the first time in years...

He was nervous. There was no other way to say it. Narumi Anjou was nervous about seeing a little girl.

But Kami... He wanted so badly to just throw the door open and hug her until she couldn't breath or something.

He'd missed her. He'd missed the little girl that Yuka had brought to him that summer day, cheeks pink and smiling at him widely, a little white dress hanging off of her tiny figure. She'd been like an angel, and he told her so every single day.

_"You're the cutest little thing in the world. A little angel, my little Tenshi,"_ he'd tell her, and swing her around. Mikan would giggle and laugh and the sound was like music as Yuka watched fondly a ways away.

They were like a family...

Narumi gripped the door handle so hard that his knuckles went white.

He took a deep breath.

Steeled his nerves.

Slid open the door...

And there she stood by the hospital bed in a little white dress given to her by the nurses, covered in bandages and bruises but... she was still Mikan.

"Good morning," he whispered.

**OoOoO**

Mikan had officially been in the hospital for four days now. Her hands and feet were still wrapped with thin bandages for frostbite and the small bruises and cuts that she had were still visible but mostly healed. Her side, however, was largely unhealed and would remain so for several weeks due to the discovery that, for some reason, healing Alices would not work on her. But she was still going to be releases from the hospital today.

She was standing beside her bed and even the slightest tilt or twist of her body pulled on the many stitches she had and pained her greatly, but she made no indication that it did so. Even though she could not see the wound due to the heavy bandaging around it, Mikan knew that it would scar.

That was okay though. She already had many others to accompany it, so what did one more matter?

Mikan looked up to meet violet eyes swimming with a dozen different emotions that she did not know what to make of. Watched as the man tucked a blond lock of hair behind his ear distractedly only for it to be of no avail when it immediately fell out of place as he tilted his head and studied the girl before him.

She stared at him blankly taking in his attire with an uninterested set of eyes, a neat white dress shirt and faded jeans – an unusually normal outfit for the man. Actually, the man was acting very unusual as a whole… Not that Mikan would know.

Or care.

After almost a full minute of staring one another down, the mysterious girl tilted her head in wonder.

"Why do you not run?" she asked softly.

How come he wasn't reacting like the other?

Narumi responded with a question of his own.

"Why should I?"

"Everyone does."

It was said with such acceptance that for a while, the teacher could only stare. Just how had Mikan lived these past seven years?

"Why?" he breathed the question, confusion coloring his voice.

She considered this for a moment.

"I suppose others find me disgusting," she said finally in that same accepting voice.

Narumi shook his head and laughed in disbelief, looking at her with sad eyes.

It was so sad to see this once happy girl become what she was now.

His Angel had become stained.

_'And why didn't return if she had really been alive?'_

"You're not."

Mikan smiled bitterly.

"Aren't I?" she asked, shaking her own head slowly and wondering how it was that this man didn't seem to see that she was such a horribly ugly being...in more than just looks.

Opposite to her, Narumi thought slowly. He had come to talk to her and gain information at the orders of the HSP (They both knew that it was really just an excuse to let Narumi talk to her), and he was then to give her a clean uniform that sat in a bag at his feet and inform her that she was going to attend the academy followed by the declaration that the HSP wanted to see her.

He wasn't sure how to talk to her after all this time though… how could he?

"Hey there Mikan! I thought you were dead! Only you're not. So, what's been happening with you these past seven years?"

Yeah right.

The subject of his turmoil broke him from his thoughts.

"Who are you?" she asked.

This person looked achingly familiar to Mikan, but she didn't know _why_.

She intended to find out.

Violet eyes shot wide in shock.

It was a slap in the face.

"W-what?" he whispered.

She tilted her head and repeated the question, "Who _are_ you?"

His hands shook and Narumi clasped them together to try and stop the fine tremors. He forced a smile and took a step towards her; clothed in her white dress with a blank expression and looking so different from the happy little girl he'd known so long ago.

_'It's been a long time. Maybe she just needs me to jog her memory,'_ he told himself.

"Mikan, it's me. Narumi Anjou. You know, Naru. Remember?"

_'Please. Please say that you know me. You _have_ to know me.'_

She spoke one word.

One little word that stole his breath and made him stumble forward. Grab her thin – oh god she was so thin – shoulders and shake her and tell her to stop lying. Ask her why she would say such a thing.

It wasn't right.

It wasn't fair to her.

It wasn't her fault.

But Narumi had dealt with too much grief in his life to take such an answer quietly.

He'd lost the love of his life once and then she came back with an adorable child named Mikan and he'd come to love them and then they both left his life. _Died_. He lost two of his most precious people in one day: one for the very first time, the other for the second.

Narumi had _seen_ them drag Yuka away, screaming as they pressed up a gun to a crying Mikan's head. _Seen _them pull the trigger. He saw the blood, heard the shouts, cried the tears, and watched as they threw her limp body into the ocean.

And then, seven years later, he found her alive – just barely, but alive nonetheless.

Narumi had felt so much relief that Mikan wasn't really dead.

_"Who are you?"_

The question had shaken him to his core.

His grip on her tightened, her hazel eyes – _Yuka's eyes_ – slowly widening with fear and he knew that he should stop. Knew that he shouldn't push her because he'd _heard_ about her break down and _knew_ that something awful had happened to her to cause it. _Knew_ she was fragile, but- but-!

.

.

_._

_"Mikan, it's me. Narumi Anjou. You know, Naru. Remember?"_

_"No."_

**OoOoOoOoO**

So~ *awkward pause* Was that okay? It's really different from before and I'm wondering how you guys are going to take it? _I_ like it, but then again I'm the one who wrote it in the first place, so who knows ^^

Review please! It's that little button in the bottom center of the screen. Anonymous review are enabled :D

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